Purpose - Meaning - Hope

Coming from all directions.

2010-06-29T06:21:00.000-07:00

Right now, i'm in the midst of my Term exams. Tomorrow i have my chinese paper. I can't be bothered much. Its such a waste of time. I feel so frustrated. Argh.

At the same time, i feel so screwed up. I realized that true friends in AC, i can count with my fingers. Who knows if that number will increase or even dwindle. Sigh.. There is so much i want to say, but i can't. If only...

I just feel like i'm wasting my life away right now.

Terms...!

2010-06-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

Its been about 2 months since i posted. Well, its been hectic! Time flies and before i know it, its the end of the june hols! So.. what happened? I'm now president of lifeguards, i didn't go for a second cca, and politics are taking their toll. However, through this small june vacation, i've grown really close to my Lifeguard mates. Like all other organisations, we do have our screwed up politics. sigh. However, all of them are great people, and i'm sure they'll rise to the occasion. I just wish it was simple, i mean, things aren't going to change. Nobody wants anything to be screwed up. So why can't we all move along, and try to get along?

I also just witnessed the j2's competition. That totally spurred me on to get something next year... B division Boys!!! GOGOGO!!! I have confidence we'll do well next year. =)

I wonder whats going on back in Maris Stella, i'll go back soon...

Up & Down

2010-04-10T08:43:00.000-07:00

The things that make JC life bearable are my class, my OG and to a certain extent, my cca. Life has become hectic ever since jc started. And i'm still searching for that little bit of motivation to focus on my work. I miss my secondary school days really badly. And i feel like a Marist, out of place in ACJC most of the time. It seems fine on the surface, but really. I just don't feel in place. & yet i'm thinking of so many other things i wanna take up. Like maybe Arts council, or if i can make it, Swimming as a second cca... I wonder if i'll make the cut.

Its time i stop whining. I need to get my act in order. The teachers not here to tell me to 'really sit down and study' or threaten me with things like 'At the end of the year, dont give me the pleasure of saying i told you so'. And i kinda miss that. I was looking through my photos on facebook just now. The 'Photos of me' category has doubled ever since i came to AC. and looking at the last picture and the first picture. The difference was... a really big gap. It was kinda great to see how much i have grown and matured, but i'm not displaying that. yet.

I want that motivation i had to study for Os back. sigh. I want to be able to tell myself at the end of every day, that i have done my best. and I will not regret what ever i've done for today. I will make that commitment. from tomorrow onwards! =P

Oh, I love my PW grp. I thank god for the people i have. I know its an 'A'! Work towards it guys! & have fun in the process!

After a while, i realised, i need to open myself up to the possibilities in JC. Make full use of everything. But at the same time, stay true to myself. Just as what my teacher has told me.

I'm dying.

2010-04-06T06:11:00.000-07:00

Hey guys... havent had an update in forever. Don't know what made me continue. Anyways, JC has started, and i'm in ACJC. (FYI : Ben wong did transfer out) So, in the end, I ended up in Lifeguards CCA. Its a pretty self explanatory cca. We're not a sport. We're a club.

The worst part, the work. I do not get anything in h2 math. I can't absorb h2 geog. I'm too slow in reading h2 Lit. (Hamlet is great, WSS SUCKS). I have no confidence in h2 econs. and as usual, i suck at chinese. REALLY BADLY. I mean, if i thought sec 4 O lvl chinese would be the worst part of my life, it just got worse.

Sometimes, I don't know if i made the right choices. I mean, I seem to be doing great in AC. I'm in the best arts class, 1AH (u guys are great), I at least enjoy cca more than MITs... But i dont know if i would've done better in the jc i always wanted to go to. Its less prestigious, but it has always been my aim. Even Ms Koh (Sec 3/4 Lit Teacher), advised me on that jc rather than ac. She reckons i would'nt cope as well in AC. Maybe shes right. Well, shes right 95% of the time. And i have always taken her advice and ended up well. But now... things have taken a different route.

Of course now, she'll say : 'Suck it up and make the best out of it. It was your choice.' or 'I told you so'. =p

Ah well. Thats what i guess i have to do. Things in jc has taken drastic changes. The kind of people i meet, as compared to the kind of friends i had in secondary school. They're not in any way similar. And at how i look at it now. They will never be. Theres something about Maris Stella you can't explain. As much as we complain abt the sch, we love it. Thats what i realised. I missed the days there. Everything now just seems so harsh. Its a dog eat dog, fish eat fish, human eat human world here. Its sinister. Its harsh. Its barren. Its cruel.

Is the best really yet to be? or is this, simply the calm before the storm.

ACJC, a new beginning

2010-01-27T05:49:00.000-08:00

Looks like its the end of the holidays. Time to get back to waking up early, going to school, and working my ass off.

to be honest, i'm really anxious and nervous about the whole orientation thing tomorrow. I don't know what kind of people i'll meet, or what kind of friends i'll make. But whatever the case, i hope they'll be good ones. I found out Benjamin Wong is in my group too, and I'm overjoyed. Now i know i won't be feeling as awkward! Only that he is appealing out of ACJC. I wonder if he'll make it. i know its bad, but i hope he'll stay with me =x. jkjk

ahhhhh.. i'm so nervous!! >.<

well, i hope things go okay... i'll try to keep things updated!

Tell me its not true

2010-01-12T07:43:00.001-08:00

I got great results for my O lvls. I got 7 points. It was wayyy beyond my expectations.....

but now, with the kind of choices i have with my results, it gave rise to confusion as to where to go... and to make it worse, i've been hearing stories about you. he said you weren't sincere. you talked behind my back. and i was ready to go to the same jc as you.

please tell me its not true. I dont know what to listen to anymore. what to do. I want to cry.

Holidays?

2009-12-17T08:23:00.000-08:00

Its roughly a month into the holidays, time to evaluate how I've been spending it!

Okay, so these are some of the things i've done...

4L Class BBQ
Taking up swimming
Starting to gym
2C outings
Serious WoW raiding (finally)

Mmmm.

Well, to start it off, 4L bbq was a blast. (pictures on facebook) But, its a bit late to talk about it now. =p but everyone enjoyed themselves, and there was a little too much food =x
but i'm pretty proud of myself for organising it, nevertheless. =D

Swimming & Gymming.
Well, swimming have been pretty much solitary, considering its all lessons. I'm taking my silver soon and moving up (hopefully). Its something i want for myself. I've always enjoyed being in the water anyways.
As for gymming, I've just been doing it with friends, seldom alone. Its quite 'productive' in a way i guess. But i have yet to see any results... Hope by the end of the holidays... hehe. hahaha. =x yup.

2C Outings
More or less the same. Movie, Lan. Sigh. I need to organise something new quick. But everyone is going away! Jloh to japan, Jia wei to taiwan. and hong chuan MIA 24/7! Not to mention lynus going UK in January. =/
i'll do something about it.. and quick, i hope.

Ah well!
Thats the holidays so far. Productive or not? i don't really know. But i guess i'm pretty satisfied with myself. For those who are asking if i'm working, its a NO. Don't ask why. =) Yup!! so.. we'll see what comes ahead. I'm going Malaysia tomorrow! Shopping time! lol. till the next time.. cyas!

I'll always be waiting for you.

Graduation

2009-11-21T06:38:00.000-08:00

I just had my Leavers' Ceremony & 4L class bbq. Also, helping out, probably for one of the last times in school as a student, in the school's open house. For me, this week has marked the end of my Marist journey.

I'll cut to the chase. Leavers' Ceremony was about taking photos. Enjoying yourself with the teachers. Being there in school. Taking in the atmosphere. For that One. Last. Time.
It was somehow... nice to be back in school. The school that groomed me to be the person i am today. Good? Bad? I'm sure its the former.

I went out for steamboat with 2C afterward. It was, i am sure, our last dinner together in our school uniforms. It was great fun. Nothing mattered anymore. We didn't have to talk about our 'O' Levels. We just enjoyed ourselves. Enjoyed each others' company. The feeling of it was just great.

In addition to that, the very next day was my graduating class' BBQ. It was a blast! We were really as a class then. It didn't feel divided. well, most of it anyways. haha. I think everyone enjoyed themselves too. Ms Koh, Ms Lee and Mr Lim came as well. I can't emphasize enough how fantastic it was. The pictures are on facebook. they'll say everything for me. We were all smiles. I thought i was never going to miss this class. I was wrong. I love it.

And today, was the open house. I helped out at Ms Koh's request. I didn't feel as much 'involved'. The new ICT programs were something i was totally unfamiliar with. I guess its a sign that its time to move on, and i have no idea whats in store.

Its now the curtain call. I'm graduated. I'm no longer part of the school. After a whole decade. I have mixed feelings about it. And now, the holidays ahead seem kind of empty. I dont know what to do. The previous year, i had events. camps. Outward Bound. Bintan. Confirmation. now.. its kinda just a blank piece paper waiting for me to write. Right now, I'm craving for some company. Some people on msn just really didn't help. Listening to Taylor Swift as well. Her platinum album is really good! haha. okay okay won't digress. (Listen to Forever & Always Piano Version) :P

To add on to the open house and my graduation, i watch as parents and pri 6 students explore the school. I knew, to a few lucky ones, they're gonna make it big in this school. And when i mean big, i mean that they're gonna make wonderful friends. expose themselves to various aspects of life. Root themselves in the right values. Discover themselves, and excel in what they never thought they could do. With the help of the perfect teachers here.

Just like i have myself. Right here, in Maris Stella High School.

I'll tell you after my Os

2009-11-02T04:35:00.000-08:00

I got a really bad feeling about Os. The papers are not what i expected. argh.

mmmm.

i'll tell you again after Os. I hope you'll reciprocate.

Stray

2009-10-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

a stray kitten you found off the roadside.
you played with, gave food, and above all, gave hope for another home.

But like all people, once you're no longer entertained by that stray animal. you leave it alone. back to where it came from. Crushing its hopes that it had raised ever since you approached it.

do you think this applies in the context of our daily lives? are we victims of such actions too?

i know i am.

I'm supposed to be mugging

2009-10-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Everyone all seems to be mugging. They're all staying up late, noses buried in books, writing down notes.. making their own...

why aren't i doing the same. Well, i'm doing a little bit of that. but yet, not to their kind of standard.

i know i've been consistently putting in effort for this whole year. Not too much, not to little either. But enough to get by. Its the last stretch. Its my Os. Its either i break it, or i make it. I got a new target for myself. A single digit result. And i'll get what i want too ;) !

With that, i'm sure i would be able to go to a JC of my choice. Through this year, i always thought i would be going to _JC, but recently... i've been asking myself, why is it that i want to go there? Does it really suit me? Aren't there alternatives? Am i letting the people around me affect my decision?

sigh. i dont know which jc to go to anymore. maybe i'll consider poly...? why isnt there a maris stella JC. -.- fuck. i feel more comfortable in a maris stella then ever before.

Sigh.. its time to mug again. I'll head to school tmr for some consultation i guess...

Reminiscence

2009-10-06T04:11:00.002-07:00

There was a mass held in school today. I felt weird, because contrary to the usual masses i attend. I was one of the few Catholics that were standing up/kneeling and stuff. At least Sean Pang was with me! :D
But it signaled that my school year was coming to an end. My final school year.
Mr Lim also, did his part. He gave us the class' contact list. He gave us an individualized card for each of us. He gave us the class photo in the form of a jigsaw puzzle, perfectly, in a photo frame. He also showed a slideshow. Of how we were so quick to grow. From a mere 12 years old when we entered, to the more mature 16 year olds we are now. Thank you, Mr Lim.

I have spent 10 years in Maris Stella, including this year. From primary 1 to Secondary 4. And it has been one hell of a ride. The people i met, the activities i've been through, the friends i made, the taste of cruel reality. These are but the few that I have experienced in Maris Stella. It is these, together with the school, that has shaped me, as a person, as an individual. It wasn't all smooth sailing. But that was the beauty of it. What doesn't destroy you only makes you stronger.

I will miss this school. The place where I know I can truly feel at home.

I went swimming with my Secondary 2 Classmates today, and we went for lunch-dinner, dunch. We were talking about the times in Secondary 1, Secondary 2, how we met each other, all the different experiences we shared, all in disbelief, that tomorrow is the last day of school. Time flies... Too quickly.

And everyday, i think about my past experiences myself. Reminiscence. I do regret some things, not done properly, or not done at all. But its been a fantastic four years nonetheless. Its more than fantastic. I can't describe it in words. Its just... somehow engraved into your heart. Its a bittersweet feeling.

And soon, the past four years of rehearsal, is now going to pay off. The 'O' Levels are what we're going to tackle together, as a class, of 2009. And after that, things will never be the same again.

Off Centre

2009-09-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

I've been feeling 'left out'. I don't know why.

I've been feeling abit 'off centre' i guess. When i read that play, i feel that i can really connect with the characters sometimes. I see their rationale, and somewhat, understand how they feel.

Are you sure that it is only because the play is crafted so intelligently in that way?

Is there a possibility, that we ourselves are off centre in our own ways? We have our moments...

Remember that passage that came our for Prelim 2? That's one of them.

i think i have lost some rationality myself.

What is...

2009-09-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

How do you tell if ones sincere or not. People put up a great act nowadays. Sometimes they seem sincere. At other times, they do not.

Am i just reading too much into people's actions? Do i think too much? Is it wrong of me to scrutinize their every action and choice of words to extract a rough idea of what they are thinking or feeling?

Why bother, to ask of me, like you care, when you only show it minimally on a superficial level.

Why bother, to ask of me, like you enjoy my company, when you're obviously doing plenty of other stuff when i'm around.

Do you really need me to be there? Obviously not.
But, do you really want me to be there? I'll keep my fingers crossed.

You might want to ponder over that. You know who you are.

I'll disappear. Just say the word.

Anticipating..

2009-09-22T04:06:00.000-07:00

I'm waiting for all my prelim results to come back to me. So far, it have been very mediocre... sigh. >.< I'm disappointed.

In addition, its like exactly a month to the 'O' Levels. I think i'm going to die. the anxiety/panic derived from it is enough to kill me. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

>.< save me. I like company! :)

Sudden Realisation

2009-09-17T07:47:00.000-07:00

Recently, i've been finding myself in different difficult positions. I don't really know how to explain them. Or maybe they may just not be that difficult to you.I just feel really lost at times.

Have you ever walked home, and a sudden thought of what possible consequences there could have been for your past actions comes to mind? That happened to me. I just went all numb, and i just walked and walked. My legs were carrying me of their own accord. I couldn't really feel them. It felt like they weren't part of me. It was a terrible experience. It was like devoured in cold flames, from head to toe.

Sigh. Well, my Prelim 2s are over. Just up for the final obstacle for this lap of my life. The ever so big 'O' Levels. They're in 5 weeks time. Soon, it'll be all over. Soon, it'll be back to rotting at home and partying with my friends. And when i do get back my results, I'll ensure I look forward with no regrets.

Light

2009-09-11T05:37:00.000-07:00

Okay. Its coming to the end of the Sept Holidays. & i havent blogged for so long. Damn Prelim 2.ah wells. O lvls are coming up anyways.

okay, so. what have i been up to?
i've just been hanging out with friends, studying, consulting Ms koh... etc...

oh oh, i went back for council bbq on monday. was kinda short =/ I preferred last year's bbq. had so much more time to play. hahaha. :P Ah well, i guess they have their own programmes now.

Lets see... i went to CHOMP CHOMP with ben wong one of the nights... bleh the bbq mussels were bad...

I went to 'shop' with BRIAN CHENG, Joel Yip & Jon Leong. They were a really cheerful bunch. great to be with juniors now and then =) thanks guys!
BRIAN U OWE ME MONEY

I was also out with Hong Chuan, Lynus, Wilfred after that... sat at starbucks and drank coffee.. talked about stuff. (dota) sians. hahahaha. =p

I also went to Nick Fengs house to study! Bleh they convinced me. weren't as productive as i hope. AND they blamed me for influencing them to sleep early. W-T-F . zzz

I went to look for Ms koh in school for lit assistance. i suck at that subject. plainly. lol. and Mr Kwok/Ms Koh bought me lunch at Yeo Keng Nam! WootS!

hmmm..i went to watch g-force! was a cool movie... studied with some other friends. that was really really fun. haha. ;)

and yea.. that pretty much sums up my Sept Holidays. till friday. haha. needa get back into the 'exam mood' which i'm apparently not in. As Ms Koh SAYS.

Narrowed down

2009-08-20T05:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, somethings are looking up. i guess.

I can't really complain about everything i guess.

There's also nothing more i can do about you i guess...but i hope for another chance.

Prelims are next week. 'They're going to be a good gauge of where you stand for the 'O' Levels' teachers repeatedly say. I don't know where i'll stand. anyways.

B3 for chinese. Oral - Merit.

gonna retake. cos school asks me to. >.<

mmmmm. Sometimes, friends are the best things that happens to you. Mrs Chia gave us a sample composition today. I really enjoyed the story. It was about friendship, & the power of words contain.
Mrs Chia told me it scored 29/30. >.>

Hectic Schedules. O lvls.

I've talked to Ben Wong about different options after O lvls. I guess i know where i want to go and what i want to study. I will work towards that. That i will achieve.

I like to call it the 'Calm B4 the Storm'. Storms and hell will only break loose when the exams are over. ;)THAT i assure you.

thinking of you.

all the time.

Landslide

2009-08-09T23:30:00.001-07:00

Things have been pretty hectic for me. In school. Outside school. I have no idea how did i land up in the current state i am in right now.

I just screwed up in school. Not with my studies, (well okay maybe abit.) but mainly with my friends. Particulary, ONE friend. Its damn screwed up. Lol. To think it has been 7 fine months. Ah well. Shit happens. My priority now is 'O' levels anyways. It just seemed so hypocritical, ironic in a particular way.

I am crumbling under the pile of homework I have. I just do not know where to start. I've been trying and trying, but never have i been productive for a long period of time. I just do not have that long attention span anymore. I look at classes that have gone before me. How they graduated, one year after another. I do not know how do they do it. And now, they can tell me the same thing every other person is telling me. To hit the books. ARGHH.

At the very same time, I feel alien to myself. I don't know why am i thinking (of that). It just seem to pop into my thoughts all the time. I can't get rid of it. I've tried taking time off for that subject. But its not responding. ITS JUST STAGNANT. THERE. omg.

it hurts so much...

Alright. let me just summarise these things for you.

I HAVE BEEN FEELING REALLY REALLY SHITTY.

Things that last.

2009-07-06T02:52:00.001-07:00

Remember when you were a kid? Remember how even the simplest things in life could make you happy? Like an ice cream cone? or your favorite stuffed toy? Remember how was it like to be so young and innocent, free of any worry?

Remember...?

Ignorance truly was bliss then.

Not now. I'm trying to allow myself to enjoy life. To look beyond any shortcomings, beyond material things, knowing that the simplest things in life would bring you the greatest pleasure.

And this, is true. The simplest things in life do bring you the greatest pleasure, they are the ones that truly can make your life happy. These things, would include your friends and family, your workplace, in my case, school. Or maybe even in nature. Just sitting by the beach, or taking a stroll round the garden, and taking it all in, it just relieves you of all that stress and worry.

However, things really aren't that simple. You face obstacles in life. I know i do. They come in various shapes and sizes, be it in the form of people, events or sickness, and it is these obstacles that distorts our vision of happiness. Of bliss. Ignorance really isn't bliss. In fact, the way i see it, being ignorant just makes you fall harder. Consequences hit the ignorant the hardest, and that will leave a mark.

Is there anyway to face these obstacles? Well, i sure do know we can. The best way is just to take it by its horns. To be able to get rid of it, face it well, and to deal with it. After all, procrastination will simply make things worse. If there's one thing I know from this post, its this : Its not the weight that is pulling you down. Its just the way you're carrying it.

Trust me, been there, done that.

So, by this point of time, or earlier, you would probably be wondering why am i writing this post. Well, honestly, i don't really know either. I guess i'm just trying to find a spark in me, to see what am I really capable of.

Anyways, about these obstacles, they distort your vision, and they make you want something that you lack and are suffering because of this shortage. These would more than likely include wealth, material possessions, or a certain look. But have you have said, 'stop. Let me think twice.' Do i really need those things? Of course, you need a certain amount of these things (except looks) to survive, but do you WANT more than necessary? Or is it just the media, shooting all different kinds of information at you, telling you to buy the latest brand of shoes, bags, or maybe even a toy? Like when you were a kid. Advertisements caught my eye a lot as a kid, especially with toys. And when i bought them, sure, they may seem really cool at first, but do they last? Will they not break down after a while? Or go outdated and you're off to find the next big thing?........

Yea, i thought so too. The media just do give you time to think, it is so visual. Things just keeps coming, images, videos, voices, ideas. THAT is what makes it so powerful.

But honestly, we don't need the media to tell us what we need to be happy. We can decide for ourselves. I mean, isn't that why God gave us a free will? Do we really want to conform to society? To be labeled by them? After all, we do have our family and friends who are close to us. They do not label us by what we wear, or what we are, but by who we are. This is probably very cliche but yea...

Well, I guess I'm done with this post. It was done on impulse. I hope you guys enjoyed reading it and its really just my point of view on somethings.

Oh, and to end this post...

'The simplest things in life are free'.

Why does everything seem so bleak.

2009-06-28T03:10:00.000-07:00

Is it me, or is everything just seem to be sinking. Its just the day before school reopens. and i've been thinking, about what to look forward to, if there are any. of course, there are my friends. But after a while of quiet contemplation...they just do not seem to be the way they were before. things change i guess. but.. i just do not feel as .... happy now. i dont know whats getting to me. but i hope theres just something, or someone, to come by and make everything better.

Maybe its just the homework. The pile of it that i have neglected over the course of the holidays. I made a promise to myself, that during the holidays, i'll take a good break. But was it really good? or was it too good?
i've just been playing computer games, (world of warcraft) and theres very limited interaction with my friends. not like before... i dont know...

i just wanna get it off my chest. i don't know what to look forward to anymore. things seem so bleak.

I don't know anymore.

2009-06-24T05:10:00.000-07:00

Its almost the end of the June holidays. Time has been flying by. I don't even know if i am keeping up anymore.

Piles of homework. Tons of revision. and to top it all of, my tolerance level is sinking. till its rock bottom. agitation. anger. hatred.

'Staycation'

2009-06-13T01:59:00.000-07:00

Hi guys! Haven't been here for a while now, my life has been very chaotic these few days.

So, to start it off, congratulations to some of my juniors, whom i know personally, who are now in the next MSHS Student Council EXCO.

They will be...

Brian Cheng (Secretary)

Loo Kee Yuen(President)
Joel Yip (Chairman of CCA Leaders)

Okay, now that that's out of the way, the 'Staycation'!
Kee Yuen and family has so kindly sponsored a room at ONEdegree15 Marina club, at sentosa cove. It's one big fancy place, i must say. It was only a one night stay, but however, the amount of quality time and fun we had together was immeasurable. The people that went would of course include Joel Lim, Kee Yuen, Brian Cheng, Joel Yip, Johnathan Leong, and myself.

The first day, we went for a swim at the pool. The pool had this really cool 'dine in the water' cafe kind of spot, where we could order food and dine by the table. It was certainly something that was new, for my anyways.

We went about having our own fun, shopping, pillow fights in the room, or just plain hanging out and talking over dinner. We had our dinner that night at VivoCity, at a chinese steamboat restaurant. (>>Kee Yuen doesn't take spicy. <
Anyways! Shopping!

Kee Yuen doesn't like shopping. fail

So yea, Johnathan Leong, Joel Yip, Brian and I were left to shop, and we were all trying to force kee yuen to try something. Which proved to be more of a challenge than i initally thought. He was as stubborn as a mule. I think I would have had better chances with teaching Joel Lim math, than to get kee yuen to learn a thing or two about fashion/shopping.

And the next day.. we had a short day out at sentosa.. nothing much.. but just to let you guys know, the 4D magix is F-A-I-L, in my opinion. Don't waste your money =)

So yea.. anyways, i'll let the pictures, do the talking! They're all on facebook.

Happy Birthday Mr Lim!

2009-06-04T08:21:00.000-07:00

4th of June : Mr Lim Beng Huat's Birthday.

So it was our form teacher's birthday. It was surely an unforgettable Sec 4L moment, for us, and for him.

The day before, i had to get the stuff for his little surprise party. And that included, cake, present and card. I went to orchard road with Joel and Jeremy, and i got him a coffee cake from Bengawan Solo, a really big card, and a simple shirt for his present.

Then, the next day, it was showtime. We had everything set up. Benedict had his video, i got ready the cake and the card, and Marcus Quah went up to get him. He came in speechless. It was really looking at another side of him. Nicholas Feng even went up to cake smash him!

Well, most importantly, i think he enjoyed it, and really appreciated what we've done for him. I mean, how many teachers celebrate their birthdays in class like that? It was our first time too, i'm sure. :)

Post Exam

2009-05-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

When i was in primary school, a tutor told me, after your exams, you'll feel bored and feel that there's nothing more to do. I never believed her. Naive and playful, i always occupied myself with entertainment like computer games and television after the exams. Superficial things that i indulged in previously.

Now, it's different. My prelim 1 exams are just over. I have my Chinese Language 'O' Levels exams coming in two weeks time. Time zoomed by... and will continue to do so. My exam results are not fantastic, neither can i say they are bad. However, i made mistakes i should not be making in this exams. Not mistakes on the paper itself, but rather, the mistakes i made in preparing for the paper. Not managing my time well and having lapses of concentration, were some of the things that i have not managed well. I start to look back.
What my English Literature teacher, Ms Koh, told us, was true.
Regret is a bitter pill to swallow.

But, she will not have the pleasure of telling me ' I told you so.'

I start to lose my momentum of work, turning back into that lazy and complacent student that I once was. But. This time. I feel different. When I slacken off, i do not know what I am doing. Sure, a bit of television, and a short episode with the computer each day, but after, it all feels... meaningless.

I start to want to get back to my books. To redo the things i did wrong in this prelim examinations. To want to show my teachers that i can do well. To be able to get the results i want. To be able to have the assurance that i am able to get a good post secondary education.
All these...

Just.

To be that perfect student.

Yet, there is a barrier. An invisible one. The source of the barrier is identifiable. That source, is me. I only crave for the fruit of success. Yet, I do not plant that seed.

What my Chemistry teacher, Mdm Lim, is true.
You reap what you sow, and you sow what you reap.

Wake me up!

2009-03-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

I have not updated for such a long time, and for some reason, something told me to do so today.

So what have i been up to? Well.. school's been crazy for me. Having to wake up at like 6 just to rich school everyday by 7.15 is ridiculous (RAAdiculous)! [Pun intended] (for those who understand =D) The council is working so differently now. Having to reach school by 7.15 for excos or its 1 demerit point. How is it fair? That we have this extra burden while the other councillors can easily come in at 7.25am. I think excos should be given at least a bit of leeway when it comes to this. Also, what have i been up to in the council? hmm... nothing much! Why? Because now i'm only doing everyone else's 'sai gang' which is thrown to me. And the investiture (WHICH I TOOK UP BEFORE I BECAME SAI GANG WARRIOR) is my biggest project right now, together with all the sec 3s. It really brings out their true personality when i see them at work or not.

However, I've been up to other much better and more fun things, which at least, I am happy with. Debates! Yes, Joel Lim, this year, has so kindly hooked me up with MSHS debate team, and without a doubt, i had loads of fun with them! From learning expository writing from Mrs Champion/Mdm Azlin & Ms Koh to trying to be spontaneous and witty on the floor! It was an experience that i will never forget. An added bonus is that i get to skip the boring cca of mine. (MITS). Its suffocating to be in there.

But, debates are over, and so are the March holidays. Its time i get back to my schoolwork proper. Its piling and snowballing. It'll overwhelm me in a matter of time.

Besides that, I think i'm going to miss Maris Stella when i leave this place. Its already my tenth year being a Marist! sigh.. Ah well.. I have to stay positive =)

I would also just like to tell some of my friends how much i love them for being around me during these years.

2Charles 07
3L/4L 08-09
Selectively Selected Councillors
Retarded himbos from Debates

Full of Care...

2009-02-22T05:31:00.001-08:00

Okay, the difference of pressure I'm getting in Sec 4 is definitely much much bigger. Look at all the homework, all the new chapters. Even I'm not coping with Sec 4 maths, while everyone is. This is so ridiculous.

My relationships in school with peers in this year also isn't shooting all the way up. Sure i have a couple of friends here and there, and without fail, my juniors are always around for me to talk to once in a while. It feels weird to be the oldest in school, and thats a good & bad thing. Sigh.. My time management also sucks. Everything sucks. And i just had to take up debates this year. Extra pressure for this 1-2months. Sigh..

I can't wait until everything is over.

Oh. I'm also disappointed by some of my friends. People really are not what they appear to be. No one can always be there with you. All the quotes about friends being there for you all the time and such, are not necessarily always true.

Or maybe i just have not found an ideal one yet...

Leisure - William Henry Davies

Its not what it used to be

2009-01-28T22:23:00.000-08:00

School is starting to get really dull now. I am just not as motivated to study as before. Right now, I'm having a big dislike towards somethings, or rather, some people in school. They are not from my class, neither are they my juniors.

What if someone gets recognition and credit for everything that you've done because your just the backstage crew? The audience would easily assume the credit would go to the person in the spotlight. Shit happens.

However, there are also the better things in school that i look forward to everyday. That would of course include my class, 4L, 2C07 Classmates, and of course, SOME of my fellow councillors. (See a link?)

Anyways, the teachers are just piling homework up on us and i just have no drive to do them anymore. It just gets redundant.

Right now, i just want to escape, just for a day or 2. Have a good party, or just go over to the beach with my friends. Its simply not the way it used to be.

School Started!

2009-01-07T10:34:00.000-08:00

School started last friday. Monday was the official day lessons began. I was surprised at the big changes i had in teachers, expecting most to be the same as sec 3. Right now, i prefer my chinese teacher last year so much more. I do not really like this year's one. Although i do hope i work well with him to achieve my best for my Chinese 'O' levels. As many of my friends would know, I'm really bad with Chinese Language. Sigh...

Being secondary 4 this year, everywhere you look is about 'O' Levels. Not that i blame it. Its natural for it to be like that. Teachers constantly reminding you about it, non-stop nagging from parents, and of course, being scared of that exam myself. I hope the effort that I promised myself to put in this year really shows.

The first week of school, I have not really tuned back to it yet. I'm still behaving like a secondary 3. Not taking things seriously and wasting time...

I do have to go for Sec 1 Camp for the first week, so I know that would be my final escape from school and once its over, time for 'O' Levels...

While I'm at this, I would like to wish my friend, Lau Hong Chuan, a Happy 16th! -6 Jan

Council Meeting + Church BBQ 22nd Dec

2008-12-25T05:42:00.000-08:00

Okay, so i had this big meeting regarding, the big fancy things that we have to settle. and the overdue stuff that i have not settled, Mr Lim was shooting at me >.< ahhh
And there was a new discipline system for councilors, thank god next year i'm leaving, if not i could not possibly stay in the council. lol..
So after that, talked about the proposal for investiture.. and Zhong yang and i placed up a banner for the Student Council, the hand painted one! So look out for that councilors!

So after that, went for lunch with ZY and Kay at Bishan, had some meepok. and had very bad stomach after. Couldnt eat at the bbq.

Anyways, the bbq was... tame. I had this bad stomach, couldnt concentrate. lol. Anyways, I did not really enjoy it.. yea.. well..was my fault i guess. It was kimblery's Bday, So yea, happy birthday to her! And i heard some things about gabriel... from wilfred lol! haha! Did not see for myself cos i left early. haha.. ah wells... yup..

Malaysia Trip 18-21 Dec

2008-12-25T05:30:00.000-08:00

Went to Malaysia on 18, morning. Reached genting about 11am~ So yea, thats how early i woke up. So went to genting, checked in, and OFF TO SHOPPING! At first world.

Okay, just a quick overview of what i bought at genting....

-Leather Belt from F.O.S
-2 Pairs of Jeans (Bout S$25 for one)

Yup! And we only overnighted at genting for 1 night. Was cold at night! Freezyyy
Me and my bro ordered room service! Chicken Hotdog in the middle of the night, not bad u know! lol haha.

OKAY! the next day, down to MEGAMALL, KL

Okay, I went for FISH SPA!
There were like 5 different ponds, and there was like different kind of fishes in each, big fish and small, lol. The big fish ones were like, ouch, super ticklish. haha. Small ones were cute! The big ones bit my foot's blister until it bled! haha! But the fihs spa was really fun!

So, Mainly shopping in KL, and eating. Had Tony Roma for dinner twice in a row! The waitress Joanne was such a pleasant person!

Okay, so this was what i bought in KL

- 2 Pairs of Shoes (Camel Active & Pedro) (Kinda regretted the Camel Active one)
-3 Shirts (1 super low v neck lol!)

And yea, that was my small shopping spree in KL. lol. nth much.. but yea.. at least i got something. haha!

Confirmed - Jeremiah

2008-12-16T08:43:00.000-08:00

Prophet Jeremiah - He was often bitter about his experience, and expresses the anger and frustration he feels. He is not depicted as a man of iron, and yet he continues in preaching and praying for God's people.

Yes, Jeremiah is my Confirmation name now. I picked that name because it was my godparents' name too, so i continued using it. Anyways, i got confirmed on 13th of December. It was a really fun day! Thanks to all that came, my family, my Godma, Joshua Koh, and JOEL LIM! Woots! It was mass then confirmation. It was serene. It was full of warmth and peace.

Anyways, after confirmation, we all went out and mingled! Took laods of photos, with the Marists (Wilfred,Koh,Joel), The 3 musketeers (Me gab, fred) with Fr Joe, Fr Luke, and archbishop Nicholas Chia! I also took with Marie (thanks for the flower :D ), Amanda Eber, Auntie Janice, and my family and godma. My godma cut queued and took a pic with archbishop while the other classes were taking their turns to take, it WAS DAMN PAISEH LA!!! wa lao!! anyways, yea.. it was fun day! and not to mention that all of us were all so smartly dress, which could only be seen once in a blue moon! haha! Thanks joel on that day for being my personal assistant! And that night, dinner was on my family at Kuishin-Bo, with joel and my godma, great food! I love the snow crab. haha! Joel also made a dedication there, and i was flattered! Haha! thanks!

Souveniers included a ring (gift from my group facils), Gifts from auntie janice and janet, and a cert as well as a card! (Which i found really cool) Thanks guys!

JOEL LIM U STILL HAVE MY PICTURES!

Confirmation Camp

2008-12-16T07:53:00.001-08:00

Yes! Its time for another camp! right after Bintan! But at least this camp is physically friendly!

Day 1 - Epic Fail. Games were stupid, missed my friends in other groups... sigh.. I really detest the person who split myself, Wilfred and Gabriel up. Its stupid. So we started the day playing really lame games, evolution and what else... sigh.. Then we also went out to the nearby field to play some pass the pass the table tennis ball in a spoon game. The person demonstrating fell over me when he spun too much... (Haolian until like that!) yea. The first impression the people in charge gave me was that they were very disorganised. You could tell they were making it up as we went along, the rules of the game. Of course, the props were there.

Day 2 - Woke up, had sessions then we went out to play again! This time was better. At least the games were better, i'm not saying the organisation was any better. The person incharge (Lucas i think) was stopping the game every 2 minutes! The game was 'Capture the Flag', with a balloon attached to your ankle, and if it bursts, you're out! I mean, the idea was there and it sounded fun, but the execution was terrible. Then there was handball, with a water balloon. Now that was fun, and they did not stop the game every 2 minutes. Sure, i got wet, but it was all in fun's name! Took a couple of photos.. and yea, its back to church! Watched passion of christ, was the first time i watched it, and it was really sad. (and gorey). And that night was the pray over. together with praise and worship. It was a great experience, i can only say that. The dinner was potatoes with 2 sausages, Wilfred gave me 1 potato and half a cheese sausage, i was bloated that night!

Day 3 - It was session intensive. Not much games... praise and worship, and just sessions! We had 1 game, the scavenger hunt. It was really retarded, tho it was fun. The drew me a mono-brow. wth. lol. but yea... catching 5 live ants.. looking for a dead cockroach.. yea.. stuff like that.. haha. that night, it was parents reconcillation day. They got u into this damn emo mood, and show u a letter your parents wrote for you. I mean when u were there, it was really sad and touching, but then now when i look back at it, i really fell for that stupid trick! yea! so i met me parents in church, had some washing of feet for some symbolism meaning, of reconcillation and forgiveness of sins or smth like that. And we had a potluck supper! yay! didn't eat much tho, just took some pictures, mingled.. and yea.. just enjoyed the company around us :)

Day 4 - Last day! yay! Session first, then confession. They tried the emo mood trick again, and none of us fell for this one i think. lol! but we did recognise the importance and the message they were trying to convey! So went for confession and after that, cleaning up! I swept and mopped the canteen. lol! After cleaning up, it was just wrapping up, photo taking, feedback and presentation by the various youth ministries. Warm fuzzies on that day too! Warm fuzzies are letters written to each other, to say hi, write what u wanna write yea kind of thing. haha. i had unexpected fuzzies. lol! ah well..

The camp wasn't THAT bad i guess.. but could be better.. hmm.. looking forward to confirmation.. and i still have no idea what youth ministry am i going to join. lol..

Day 4 -

Bintan Trip!

2008-12-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Recently, I've been to Bintan with a couple of my councilors, and it was really, really fun. Of course, it was with the primary sch kids. They were hellish! Ask Joel Lim and he can give you a simple, yet detailed, explanation. We stayed by the beach, where you could feel the breeze, and the high and low tides were of a very big difference. It was a great place! Loola Resort i think.

The first day we reached there, we started on our activites already! It was this boom net jumping, where a 2 nets were placed next to the boat, one on each side, and we climbed to the highest point of the boat and jumped down! The impact was painful sometimes, but it was really fun, not to mention that the boat was moving all the time! When i was climbing out of the net onto the boat again, i was trampled over a thousand times by the kids! Wow!! They could not climb up themselves, so Hia Ren, Wymer and Clement did alot of assisting. Of course, us secondary school guys tire out after a couple of jumps, while the kids just kept going! We had no idea where they got their energy from. We washed up and at night, it was lots of free time and planning for the CIP the next day.

Day 2 - CIP at a school in Bintan. The school was poor, facilities were bad, and they just did not have enough teachers! It was really an eye opener to see something like that in the world, with your own eyes. And yet, the kids seemed so happy, they were running around, playing games, and we too played soccer and volleyball with them! MSHS bought them some stuff with certain amount of money allocated for them, and we bought them a printer, soccer and volleyballs, and also a proper microphone, as the principal was addressing the school with such a minute one. The kids' age ranged from 7-12 (Primary Sch Age). I played volleyball with them for a while, which after joel and i just took pictures with them! The little kids just loved taking pictures. They were all hyper, smiling and you could feel that they were happy that we were there, even though we had a language barrier. We also reached out to them, trying to communicate and such, even though it was difficult. It was a heartwarming experience. As we left, we could still see them waving to us, and all of them were shouting their goodbyes, appreciative of our short visit of a couple of hours. It meant a great deal to them, i'm sure, but it also was a big eye opener and an unforgettable experience for us Singaporeans too.

In the afternoon, we had flying fox and kayaking. The difference with this flying fox was there we flew into the sea during high tide! It was fun! I made a big splash, i remember! Mrs Koh was also waiting for us in the sea, and after we secondary sch boys went, we joined her there and just enjoyed the water. It was much better than Singapore's! Haha. After that, we went on to kayaking. There wasn't much explanation, thank god i learnt enough kayaking skills from OBS to facilitate the kids. They were not paddling la. Had to paddle 2 kids around. Lol. But you could see there were having fun! That night was our BBQ night, so we had some simple bbq, and yea.. campfire! It was fun, especially learning all those npcc cheers and songs from Joel, Clement, Hia Ren, and Guan Wei. We secondary sch gentlemen also went for a night walk with the teachers, it was uneventful, however, tho we did see a rolled over frog!

Day 3 - It was the last day, and it was really a day where we just hung out, chit chat, and packed. Slacking by the beach, enjoying the water, and just taking photos. It was great... Enjoyment of company never felt better. Although, we did have one last activity, coconut tree climbing! That was AWESOME! I climbed a coconut tree, tho it was really tiring, and i managed to pick our first coconut! It was really great! Throwing it down to them was also fun! Haha! Something i'll never forget!

So after that, we went to a small shopping mall for a little shopping and lunch. Bought sweets and food. I could see joel running everywhere the mall because his pri sch partner was running everywhere! And he was pissed! LOL! The food was pretty decent, and yea... everything was cheap there! Yup... It was a really, really great. And yea.. went back to singapore on the ferry after..

Escape!

2008-11-29T05:51:00.000-08:00

I went escape theme park yesterday with my friends, Jloh, Hong Chuan, and lynus! It rocked! So they did wake up late and we only started playing in the afternoon.. leaving ben wong, brandon and kai en.. haha.. It was much better than expected. Started of with the viking, it was great! went to burger king to grab a snack and we had to go to the haunted house. wth. I hate these things. It took much persuasion for lynus and hong chuan to persuade both jloh and i, and jloh just HAD to give in, so i really had no choice, did i? yea we did go in there, scare the shit out of myself, and there were 2 horrible girls behind me that were screaming into my ears. and i could only remember lynus screaming 'dont push dont push' lol!

So okay, get that over and done with. We went for the go kart! it was fun! nothing much happened there.. and erm.. flipper for a round or 2.. then we went to the water log! it started to rain and we had to wait, so we ended up waiting for no less than 20 minutes, and we just sat there talking about WoW. and yup.. we got really really wet! After that we went for the viking again! (after trying to dry up of course!) so after that, it started to get late.. round 7.20ish. and since we had nothing to do, we went for the bumper boats! just to get ourselves wet again! That had to be the best finale to a good day at the theme park. Shooting each other and even the people outside were great fun! And we all went for dinner after...

Superdog at E-Hub! It was really good. Sat there, talked a whole lot of crap. Sometimes u just wonder why can't things stay that way, nothing else to worry about, especially with 'O's next year.....

In the end, it was a really really good day. Great fun, company, and bonding! Unfortunately we were unable to spend time with ben wong and his friends since we came too late, or just that they went off too early.

Kurt Gathering No.1

2008-11-25T05:20:00.000-08:00

Kurt gathering! Yay! I met up with the group at Parkway after MSHS open house, and had dinner there! (I forgot to wait, sorry! =P )

After dinner, we went to east coast park, where we played arcade. At east coast! While it rained earlier and it was getting dark so i guess we really couldn't do much! At the arcade, The girls with camwhoring while Tin Jun and Shuai Cheng played some retarded games.. played Time Crisis 4 with tin jun too,(furthest i ever went!) and yea.. thats the highlight of the arcade! yay!

After that, we went down by the beach side, and sat in one circle on a pathway near the beach. Wanted to play games but really couldn't coordinate ourselves. So we just ended up talking... and trying to plan our next outing so it'll be a much better one! It was a big headache fixing a date, but we eventually managed to. We also went to the mini funfair and played some UFO catcher. Shuai Cheng got a teddy bear! lol! So after that we just went back to the bus stop, heading home next... It was a really long ride, but yea.. at least we had friends to keep us company! And of course, we did not head home without taking a couple of group photos... ;)

MSHS Open House 2008!

2008-11-25T05:11:00.000-08:00

So on the 22nd November 2008, it was MSHS open house! Yay! I was there for half my day, 8am - 4pm! It was a great success, in my opinion. Sure there were some hiccups at the start, but with some last minute changes, everything went on smoothly. The ICs incharge for councillors, yours truly, together with Xian Wei, Yoong Kwei, Denzel and Jerome. They were really good themselves! Especially to Xian Wei and Yoong Kwei, who took charge of the second shift!

So at the open house, we brought parents for a tour around the school, led them for talks, and most importantly, we were the information counters! It was cool being able to speak to the parents, trying to promote our school. It was a great day where i was able to brush up and train my oral presentation skills. And on that day, i also realised how eloquent speakers were able to win people over. The councillors were also great on that day, all of them were great ushers as well as speakers as far as i observed.

Such experience is invaluable. Where else, can u practice this way, to outsiders, your speech and how you promote things. I'm sure this is also what sales promoters are about.

Outward Bound - Continued

2008-11-20T01:58:00.000-08:00

Day 3
Okay, Day 3's highlight was the land expedition. We played some team games with the other groups first before we went though, to decide who gets to choose the checkpoints first. Okay so Kurt came in 3rd, but i'm sure we did our best! The team games consisted of Body Parts, Team Ski, and Giant Skipping Ropes. After the team games, we settled down for a quick lunch and started to plan our route. When we set off, i was already have a really negative mindset. The bags were really heavy and the route we had to walk seemed longer than what it really is. So as we set off towards our first checkpoint, we searched around an area and we found one! Only to realise later on that it was not our checkpoint. I was frustrated! So we had to set off again, this time to plan our route properly and more precisely. As we walked, it started to rain, and we walked even faster. So fast that we missed the checkpoint! It was raining too heavily, so we had to seek shelter with some toilets. After waiting a while, we walked back and tried to find our checkpoint. We came across this road that split, and we were so sure that the checkpoint was there! But we just couldn't find it! We only found it there after a while when we realised it was behind a tree! It was really stupid. So we did our detour and completed it! That meant 1 less checkpoint to find! But as we went on, we did not even find a second checkpoint. It was horrible. Some of us even went deeper in to check, and it wasn't there! Sigh... So we ran out of time and had to proceed back to our campsite, which was again, back to where we 'started'. Walking to and fro was a really really bad experience, especially with those bags. However, we reached our campsite, pitched up our tents and got a briefing regarding the Sea expedition! Exciting! And as the sea X leaders stood up, its really really good to see 8 out of 9 of them being Marists! Looks like the school did instill something in us that was just waiting to pop after all!
After that, the thunderstorm came! All of us hid in our tents, and had to place ponchos ontop of our tents as well! it was really bad. The sky was pouring and flashes of lightning were frequent. It was really cool! haha.. So that day the instructors cooked for us! Wow! Yup! it was really fantastic! Again, i shared my food with Alex! And that night we slept on wet tents.....

Day 4
Sea Expedition! We woke up at 4.30. Loaded our bags into the boats, and started to our starting point where we will start kayaking. After taking them out and doing a couple of tests, we were ready to kayak. So we started kayaking one round around the Island, Pulau Ubin! At the start it was really fun, but as we went on, it got really more and more tiring. I'm sure it was the first time for plenty of us on such a long distance! We had lunch in the sea too! We rafted up together with the instructors' powerboat and they threw our rations to us! Wow! It was a really fun! And after that, it was once again, non-stop kayaking. I was sharing a kayak with Shuai Cheng (who was later replaced by matthew) and Jing Yi! Shuai cheng and i changed place a couple of times, (i prefer the back seat!) and we even capsized once, which was really unexpected! So yea.. thats the main highlights of the sea expedition. When we got back to our bunk, everyone was looking forward to a nice bath and a nice dinner as well, which was exactly what we had! It was our final night together, so we mixed around, took some pictures, had a cooking comp, and such. It was a great night.

Day 5
Woke up, and had flag raising. Immediately after that, they lead us to the Jetty and told us that we were going to jump off it! I mean, wow, that'll be again, the first time i'm doing something like that. We also had to shout out our commitments we want to make after the camp before we jump, which was the aim of the activity. (I'm not revealing mine). The water was really... dirty and cold! haha! But it was fun for everyone, i'm sure of it! So after that, we rinsed, and grouped together again, for the giving out of our WALLETS AND HANDPHONES! And we went shopping for souvenirs... We took a couple of last group photos, and we went to the hall for a final debrief before home... They were dispatching us back by schools, so when we had to leave our groups, we were kinda bummed, which was surprising! We were all running around, taking photos, which included Marists At OBS, MSHS Student Councillors at OBS, and of course, a couple of random, retarded shots! Greendale also cheered for us, which we couldn't return, so we did the school song! Yay! they could do another, but we could only reply with the Marist Creed, which i reckoned was inappropreiate as alot of them did not want to. haha.. So when we were on the boat, everyone was really quiet. (First time for Marists!) You could feel mixed feelings in everyone, about being sad to leave and at the same time, happy that they could go home already. Its hard to describe....

Points I learnt/that dawned on me In OBS
- Some people aren't as bad as how you think they are, they can actually be very nice!
- There are some people who really ARE bastards!
- I hate people who think and decide for their own pleasure or challenge, and not a standard where is stretched and REALISTIC for the rest of us
- Frustration should not overcome me.

Outward Bound Singapore Part 1

2008-11-14T15:24:00.001-08:00

Okay, so i just came back from OBS. It was fantastic.

Day 1

We met up at Punggol jetty. All other schools came with buses while we Marists had to get there ourselves. Soon, we were split up into our groups. Marists in my group included Shuai Chen, Tin Jun, Matthew Lee, Brandon Hong, and last but not least, Alex Tham. I felt so left out in the whole group of Marists. They were all from UGs and ODAC, and i'm the only Student Councilor in my group. Well at least Tin Jun was my classmate and Matthew Lee was from my church. So i already knew them beforehand. Of course, our group was named 'Kurt'! Soon, we boarded the ferry and headed off to Pulau Ubin. And after all the introduction and admin, we headed to our bunks and dumped our bags there. It was a nice bunk, a pity we did not sleep there. After, we had our introduction to kayaking. I was completely new to it, but i knew it was something to enjoy, and i did! It was really great fun kayaking, i could not wait till the Sea Expedition. So after kayaking, we washed up, and learnt to pitch tents and outdoor cooking. It was my first time pitching a tent, and it was really cool, although it wasn't the night i slept in there! Outdoor cooking was also really cool. Fuel tablets, bricks, on the beach, by the sea. It was really fun. Who knew that even in outdoor cooking, the rice cooked was actually quite good. Of course, it was done by my instructor, Kiah Hong. After eating, we had to pack our bags to leave camp tomorrow. Packing was a big, big mess! I thought i was done packing the day before camp, but now i have to do it again! Thank god there's Alex there to help. He had been a really good buddy throughout the camp. So we packed our bags, and headed off into the tents we pitched earlier, near beach, to close the day. My first night in a tent! It was kinda crammed in there.

Day 2
Took down our tents, and did some last minute packing before we headed off to our second campsite. I volunteered to carry a tent since Alex and i had shared a bag to pack our stuff. The moment i took up a tent, it was pulling me down. It was really heavy! So we did a short trek to campsite 2. It did not seem short due to the bags though. Although it really was, as compared to what is to come. At campsite 2, we placed our bags under some shelter and pitched our tents in an open field! For our next activity, we did the trust fall! It was cool, having to stand up there to fall backwards, only at the mercy of your group members. It was a really fun. However, it started to drizzle. After, we had a little sharing session and also did reflections on Day 1, which was interesting to see what other people thought. Kiah Hong also introduced us to an outline of leadership and teambuilding, which was something that i will take back to MSHS.Next, our instructor decided to bring us for abseiling. So we learnt to put on our harnesses, and helmets, and headed off for some theory and practice. We saw where we were going to abseil from. It was this short cliff. It was short as compared to the others around the area, but it looked really tall when we're at the top! It rained heavier, and we had to postpone the activity, so i took a nap while waiting, and soon, someone woke me up and it was time to go abseiling! It was a long wait for all 16 of my group members to go. When it was my turn, it looked really high and i was having cold feet, but i proceeded on anyways. The rock was extremely slippery! As i was abseiling down, i slipped, and my whole body banged the rock! It was a pretty rough side too! I was however, only scarred with some small cuts on my left arm, and luckily, no bleeding. It was really fun though, abseiling down a natural terrain. Great experience there again! So after my turn, i had to wait for a couple more people. We Marists had a chat with the Greedale students, Laura and Wen Ting. It was really a good chat, talking about our own school culture and how our school system differs. Especially when it comes to our leadership roles in school. So after everyone had gone, we went to cook again! outdoor cooking once again, was really good. Although we cooked at the wrong spot and burnt a big hole of grass in the field! We patched it up the next day. We took plenty of pictures that meal. At night, there was night activity. They brought 2 groups, Kurt and Mushi (not sure how to spell) into the forest. We thought it was just some simple night walk in the forests, and when they told us to go individually to the next instructor, i never expected what was to come. I expected some night walk though the forest using the lightsticks as checkpoints, but it turned out that i was expected to crawl through some underground tunnel! Instructor Kiah Hong opened up a manhole ( i think that was what it is) and i had to go down, and crawl through! It was submerged in total darkness in that tunnel. It was really the first time i experienced that kind of darkness. It was really black, you could not even see your hand when it was right infront of you! So i had to feel my way through and did some turns, crawling slowly, at my pace, afraid that there i would bump into someone infront of me and scare the both of us. I was also really afraid of spiders and cockroaches in that tunnel! (C'mon! i hate them!) So i had to feel my way through, turning when necessary, and finnaly, reached the end when i had to go up again, feel the ladder and knock on the door and Kiah Hong opened it. Woooooo... glad that was over. So we went to the other side of the forest where we had to wait for the rest of the people. I chatted with Alex and Liyana, once again, about our school culture and academics. She was also from Greendale, and Greendale is only three years old this year! They're the pioneer batch! Wow.. you really got to admire them for coming up with the stuff to start up a school like a school pledge, song, and shirts. And that was the last activity for day 2 as we headed back off to shower and headed to our tents...

And thats it for the first 2 days! it passed really quickly and i was starting to enjoy myself, as compared to the moment i arrived! I'll continue the next 3 days on another post soon!

Dinner

2008-11-08T00:29:00.001-08:00

So i was bored at home on a Friday.. and luckily, friends called me up for dinner. Wanted to go out for a movie but they had training. So yea.. we had dinner at chomp chomp, Serangoon Gardens. I had crayfish,stingray and carrot cake. Really gooooooooooooodddddddd............

And all of them had to go home early! damn sian.. lol. So Ben called me out for dinner too! after i had mine. lol. and i obliged and accompanied him. It was just to kill time, and to accompany a friend of mine who was probably very lonely :D haha..

At least i got smth to blog about. This saturday is becoming to be very very very boringg.. Havent eaten anything since morning and i'm rotting of boredom at home. Sigh...

Well, i got to prepare for OBS, god knows how tiring it'll be for me. :)

Mirage

2008-11-06T06:01:00.000-08:00

Don't you ever get the feeling, when you feel you could trust and rely on someone, only to be proven wrong when you get your hopes up?

I get that too. It also isn't the first time. I'm sure people feel that way about me too, but sometimes, i just really can't get over the disappointment for some people, and i just want to vent it here now.
Its like, when promises come, and they have to break it due to circumstances. I mean, that would be fine, only IF i knew that he had fought to keep his promises. Sigh...

Maybe they were just taking advantage...

Affllicted!

2008-11-04T19:42:00.001-08:00

Okay, so yesterday, i was at KK hospital, waiting for consultation with a doctor regarding my EEG.

I would not want to go into details about the results. But they were really not what i expected. Things are going to change. They are, however, not going to affect my decisions to what i want to do.

Nevertheless, it was shattering. My hopes almost slipped out, but at least my parents are not that overprotective, they are willing to take some risks for what i want. Things will change. Drastically.

P.S : Thanks J.K for the info.

National Young Leaders Day 08

2008-11-04T06:17:00.001-08:00

I attended the National Young Leaders Day 2008, organised by Halogen Foundation, Singapore, held at Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

It was a really sucessful event. The guest of honor was the minister of defence. All the speakers gave really really wonderful and inspirational talks. All the speakers knew what they wanted in their life, what they have found, and how they managed it. From waste management to helping people in the Phillipines. It was different, to actually hear from these people themselves, instead of just watching some charity on television. One could easily see, the PASSION, they have for what they do, and even though they're not the wealthiest, i still envy them, somehow...someway. They claim the joy they get from just helping the poor, or making change to the environment, outweighs everything else, luxury doesn't matter anymore.

Among those speakers, there was Nick. He had no arms, or legs. When they turned on the lights after a short movie clip, there he was, sitting, or standing, on the table on stage. His speech was the one that struck the whole audience. He was without arms and legs, and he could joke about how he uses they to scare people. Like his friends putting him in the luggage compartment area on a plane, and how he scares people when people opens them. And like how he freaks little kids out. Yet, he could speak so confidently, as though as his disability did not matter. It was really motivating, looking at someone like him, crippled, and yet, happiness was earned by him, based on his own merit. It made me feel as if I was in no position to complain about what I am unhappy with. Its also from him, that i had this blog title. Purpose - Meaning - Hope. With a purpose, your life has meaning, and with meaning, hope shines. Lack purpose in your life and lose the other 2 attributes.

I have brought away things with this conference. It made me reflect again, what am I really doing with my life now, when I'm young and capable of so much more. How i could be the one, making a difference to another, for the better. Or even simply improving myself this holiday. Do i want to just play a computer game and waste it all, and when i look back on what i have done for the 6 weeks, there really isn't anything to look back on.

I thought of possibilities this conference. Is there an alternative to my ambition( becoming a lecturer)? I saw videos on how people made differences to people's life. It just seemed like the only thing that you could do for yourself, is to do something good for someone else. Wouldn't it be great, if you could be that change in someone else's life? Or be that inspiration, and hope, for another?