The things that make JC life bearable are my class, my OG and to a certain extent, my cca. Life has become hectic ever since jc started. And i'm still searching for that little bit of motivation to focus on my work. I miss my secondary school days really badly. And i feel like a Marist, out of place in ACJC most of the time. It seems fine on the surface, but really. I just don't feel in place. & yet i'm thinking of so many other things i wanna take up. Like maybe Arts council, or if i can make it, Swimming as a second cca... I wonder if i'll make the cut.
Its time i stop whining. I need to get my act in order. The teachers not here to tell me to 'really sit down and study' or threaten me with things like 'At the end of the year, dont give me the pleasure of saying i told you so'. And i kinda miss that. I was looking through my photos on facebook just now. The 'Photos of me' category has doubled ever since i came to AC. and looking at the last picture and the first picture. The difference was... a really big gap. It was kinda great to see how much i have grown and matured, but i'm not displaying that. yet.
I want that motivation i had to study for Os back. sigh. I want to be able to tell myself at the end of every day, that i have done my best. and I will not regret what ever i've done for today. I will make that commitment. from tomorrow onwards! =P
Oh, I love my PW grp. I thank god for the people i have. I know its an 'A'! Work towards it guys! & have fun in the process!
After a while, i realised, i need to open myself up to the possibilities in JC. Make full use of everything. But at the same time, stay true to myself. Just as what my teacher has told me.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
I'm dying.
Hey guys... havent had an update in forever. Don't know what made me continue. Anyways, JC has started, and i'm in ACJC. (FYI : Ben wong did transfer out) So, in the end, I ended up in Lifeguards CCA. Its a pretty self explanatory cca. We're not a sport. We're a club.
The worst part, the work. I do not get anything in h2 math. I can't absorb h2 geog. I'm too slow in reading h2 Lit. (Hamlet is great, WSS SUCKS). I have no confidence in h2 econs. and as usual, i suck at chinese. REALLY BADLY. I mean, if i thought sec 4 O lvl chinese would be the worst part of my life, it just got worse.
Sometimes, I don't know if i made the right choices. I mean, I seem to be doing great in AC. I'm in the best arts class, 1AH (u guys are great), I at least enjoy cca more than MITs... But i dont know if i would've done better in the jc i always wanted to go to. Its less prestigious, but it has always been my aim. Even Ms Koh (Sec 3/4 Lit Teacher), advised me on that jc rather than ac. She reckons i would'nt cope as well in AC. Maybe shes right. Well, shes right 95% of the time. And i have always taken her advice and ended up well. But now... things have taken a different route.
Of course now, she'll say : 'Suck it up and make the best out of it. It was your choice.' or 'I told you so'. =p
Ah well. Thats what i guess i have to do. Things in jc has taken drastic changes. The kind of people i meet, as compared to the kind of friends i had in secondary school. They're not in any way similar. And at how i look at it now. They will never be. Theres something about Maris Stella you can't explain. As much as we complain abt the sch, we love it. Thats what i realised. I missed the days there. Everything now just seems so harsh. Its a dog eat dog, fish eat fish, human eat human world here. Its sinister. Its harsh. Its barren. Its cruel.
Is the best really yet to be? or is this, simply the calm before the storm.
The worst part, the work. I do not get anything in h2 math. I can't absorb h2 geog. I'm too slow in reading h2 Lit. (Hamlet is great, WSS SUCKS). I have no confidence in h2 econs. and as usual, i suck at chinese. REALLY BADLY. I mean, if i thought sec 4 O lvl chinese would be the worst part of my life, it just got worse.
Sometimes, I don't know if i made the right choices. I mean, I seem to be doing great in AC. I'm in the best arts class, 1AH (u guys are great), I at least enjoy cca more than MITs... But i dont know if i would've done better in the jc i always wanted to go to. Its less prestigious, but it has always been my aim. Even Ms Koh (Sec 3/4 Lit Teacher), advised me on that jc rather than ac. She reckons i would'nt cope as well in AC. Maybe shes right. Well, shes right 95% of the time. And i have always taken her advice and ended up well. But now... things have taken a different route.
Of course now, she'll say : 'Suck it up and make the best out of it. It was your choice.' or 'I told you so'. =p
Ah well. Thats what i guess i have to do. Things in jc has taken drastic changes. The kind of people i meet, as compared to the kind of friends i had in secondary school. They're not in any way similar. And at how i look at it now. They will never be. Theres something about Maris Stella you can't explain. As much as we complain abt the sch, we love it. Thats what i realised. I missed the days there. Everything now just seems so harsh. Its a dog eat dog, fish eat fish, human eat human world here. Its sinister. Its harsh. Its barren. Its cruel.
Is the best really yet to be? or is this, simply the calm before the storm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
