Post Exam

When i was in primary school, a tutor told me, after your exams, you'll feel bored and feel that there's nothing more to do. I never believed her. Naive and playful, i always occupied myself with entertainment like computer games and television after the exams. Superficial things that i indulged in previously.

Now, it's different. My prelim 1 exams are just over. I have my Chinese Language 'O' Levels exams coming in two weeks time. Time zoomed by... and will continue to do so. My exam results are not fantastic, neither can i say they are bad. However, i made mistakes i should not be making in this exams. Not mistakes on the paper itself, but rather, the mistakes i made in preparing for the paper. Not managing my time well and having lapses of concentration, were some of the things that i have not managed well. I start to look back.
What my English Literature teacher, Ms Koh, told us, was true.
Regret is a bitter pill to swallow.

But, she will not have the pleasure of telling me ' I told you so.'

I start to lose my momentum of work, turning back into that lazy and complacent student that I once was. But. This time. I feel different. When I slacken off, i do not know what I am doing. Sure, a bit of television, and a short episode with the computer each day, but after, it all feels... meaningless.

I start to want to get back to my books. To redo the things i did wrong in this prelim examinations. To want to show my teachers that i can do well. To be able to get the results i want. To be able to have the assurance that i am able to get a good post secondary education.
All these...

Just.

To be that perfect student.

Yet, there is a barrier. An invisible one. The source of the barrier is identifiable. That source, is me. I only crave for the fruit of success. Yet, I do not plant that seed.

What my Chemistry teacher, Mdm Lim, is true.
You reap what you sow, and you sow what you reap.